Putting your core values to work

The soul of generosity

Last month, a former writing student of mine, who works for a charitable organization, asked if I’d participate in a fundraising video. Her firm was asking people to talk on camera about generosity: what it means to them, examples from their own lives, who typifies the word.

I agreed to appear and thought hard about generosity, kindness, thoughtfulness. Times when someone has unexpectedly come through for me and others. And I kept circling back to one person: my neighbour, Jean-Marc.

Jean-Marc is simply the soul of generosity. A vigorous sixty-seven, from a big Acadian family in New Brunswick, he was close to his lively mother until she died, not long ago, at the age of 100; he speaks frequently to his siblings and still has friends from kindergarten. A gay man in a long-term relationship, he loves women and children and to cook, feed, and take care of everyone. When an elderly neighbour with little money was callously renovicted from her basement apartment, Jean-Marc found her other places to live, helped her move again and again, and to this day is one of only two people who visit her regularly. He brings food and good cheer.

For me, one moment is embedded in my heart. The evening after a fire ravaged part of my home, I was sitting desolate in the rubble and char, hands grey with ash, trying to see what I could salvage, when through the chaos came JM holding a tray: a hot dinner and a glass of white wine.

But it’s something he did only a few days ago that I want to tell you about. For many years, JM has had a business informing students and other travellers about living and working overseas. It’s been an uphill climb for this solo entrepreneur, selling first a huge book and now a website crammed with information about every culture on earth.

Last weekend, he went to a big conference in Toronto. Three years before, an American organization in an affiliated field had decided to hold their annual event for the first time outside the U.S. This gathering was attended by a fifty Canadians and 1200 Americans.

But as we Canucks all know, the situation between Canada and the U.S. has changed drastically since January of this year, as the current American administration, for some incomprehensible reason, targets their northern trading partner with unjust tariffs, threats, and insults. JM knew almost all the Americans at the conference would be mortified about what their country is doing to ours. He’s outraged himself, as is everyone we know. He told me he was sleepless for two nights, wondering if he should do something at the conference — express his anger, for example; emphasize to the Americans why Canadians are furious.

He said he returned to his core values: valuing openness, difference, multiculturalism, international travel. And he knew what to do. Walking in to the conference holding a hundred small Canadian flags, he went up to a small group, held out his hand, and said, “Welcome to Canada! Please know, the friendship between our countries will endure,” and he gave them a Canadian flag.

My friend did that for three days, speaking individually to at least five hundred American attendees. Many hugged him, some, he said, with tears in their eyes. Others tried to apologize for their president’s actions and expressed relief and gratitude to hear what he had to say. He told me by the end of the conference, most of the exhibitor booths had his Canadian flag on display, and he heard over and over how much his words and actions had meant.

One man bothered to stick out his neck and make a difference. Singlehandedly, he brought warmth to a small corner of our cold, bitter, divided world. That’s how it’s done.

God knows, there’s so much wrong on our planet, especially right now, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Gaza, Ukraine, Sudan; the growth of authoritarianism, even fascism, in many countries; the heedless smashing of so much of importance and value. It’s excruciating that we are in many ways hurtling backwards.

What can we do? We can start by working to make a small difference in the lives of those around us. We can be choose to be generous.

Sometimes, all it takes is to stick out your hand to a stranger and smile.

P.S. And sometimes, what a writer like me can do is recognize goodness and celebrate it with words. Jean-Marc was nearly in tears when he read this and has proudly shared it with family and friends.

That’s my tiny contribution, for today, at helping to make the world a more generous place.

What goodness have you noticed today? How can you celebrate it?

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